http://fearofflyingmessageboard.com/topic/2125/t/Sad-update-.html en-us Copyright 2006, Kickapps feeds@kickapps.com (FeedMaster) webmaster@kickapps.com (WebMaster) Sun, 04 Oct 2009 16:01:31 GMT Wed, 21 Oct 2009 16:02:45 GMT Kickapps Feeds 1.0 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss 60 {pics-1.1 "http://www.icra.org/ratingsv02.html" l gen true for "http://kickapps.com" r (nz 1 vz 1 lz 1 oz 1 cz 1 ) "http://www.rsac.org/ratingsv01.html" l gen true for "http://kickapps.com" r (n 0 s 0 v 0 l 0 )) Search Domain q http://kickapps.com/search/direct/ http://fearofflyingmessageboard.com/reply/7544/t/Sad-update-.html#reply-7544
just a bit of useless info...lol ]]> feeds@kickapps.com (Adventurer) http://fearofflyingmessageboard.com/sreply/7544 Wed, 21 Oct 2009 16:02:45 PST http://fearofflyingmessageboard.com/reply/7543/t/Sad-update-.html#reply-7543
Thanks so much for your reply. I'm so sorry for what happened to you back in 2007. To lose that many family, well it doesn't bear thinking about.....at times like this i think we really question what is the meaning of life, when it's so painful at the end...

I hear what you are saying about grieving but as i said above, there seems to be an automatic shut off in me. I'm not happy and getting on with life or anything, i'm just like a robot.....and don't know how i'm functioning. Hopefully when i know my mother is ok and can spend time alone then i will maybe have time to grieve.

Thanks again for listening. I really like this forum, it's the most supportive place i've found and i know in time i will be here happily talking about new flights that i have arranged :-) (and hopefully contributing to others) ]]> feeds@kickapps.com (Adventurer) http://fearofflyingmessageboard.com/sreply/7543 Wed, 21 Oct 2009 16:00:30 PST http://fearofflyingmessageboard.com/reply/7542/t/Sad-update-.html#reply-7542
Thankyou so much for your words, they really have helped. I have not replied before now because i forgot my password and not as sharp at the moment, so took me a while to work out what to do! lol!

The anxiety has lessened but i feel the grief hasn't happened. I am totally devastated, my dad was the most important person in my life and it was always that way.....but i can't cry. I don't know why. If i could choose to i would, but it's like something else has taken me over and i'm on autopilot.

I arranged the funeral, even did a speech and everyone commented on how strong i was.....

but this was my worst ever fear. I used to pray all the time that my parents be kept safe. I nearly wrote to my doctor to say that i was worried about dad, that he seemed unwell in the last year or so....but no one else noticed and everything was put down to me being over anxious!

Now my mum is saying that she... ]]> feeds@kickapps.com (Adventurer) http://fearofflyingmessageboard.com/sreply/7542 Wed, 21 Oct 2009 15:51:37 PST http://fearofflyingmessageboard.com/reply/7520/t/Sad-update-.html#reply-7520 I'm VERY sorry to hear about the loss of your father. I can't imagine what you're going through having not yet lost a parent.

Just know that, while it may affect your emotions about flying, it doesn't affect flying in general.

I had a few family members pass away in a very short period in 2007--my wifes grandmother in May, my grandmother in July, my other grandmother in November, and my uncle in December--all of which required me to fly to attend the funerals. I distinctly remember my trip back from the funeral in November. I got up from my seat, shaking a bit, getting a bottle of water from the flight attendant, and standing there in the front of the plane in a perpetual state of being on the verge of tears--my eyes swollen, a lump in my throat--wishing this all was just a bad dream. I was too proud to break down in front of all those people.

Grief is a difficult, but necessary, process. Let it run its course. I... ]]> feeds@kickapps.com (OneAnt) http://fearofflyingmessageboard.com/sreply/7520 Wed, 07 Oct 2009 20:57:10 PST http://fearofflyingmessageboard.com/reply/7517/t/Sad-update-.html#reply-7517
That continues until the grieving is done, and the pain isn't so bad when thinking of them. Then, once again, we find the strength knowing them and remembering them gives us inside. ]]> feeds@kickapps.com (Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW) http://fearofflyingmessageboard.com/sreply/7517 Wed, 07 Oct 2009 14:15:00 PST http://fearofflyingmessageboard.com/reply/7514/t/Sad-update-.html#reply-7514
It helps to consider that i can keep dad alive in me. I will still review your pages from time to time as i will be arranging another flight soon - i'm not giving up on my phobia!

Re dad, this has ....or is threatening to bring all my health anxieties back. I've always had a fear of suffocating and dad looked like he was suffocating when he had the heart attack.......though i've been told by doctor's that he was unlikely to have been concious and it probably wouldn't feel like suffocating anyway.

When i think of my health fears and the panic attacks i used to get, it was all linked to whether i could reach my father if i needed him (bearing in mind he lived local to me and i am not in a relationship). Now the fears are threatening to return because i know that whenever anything bad happens, i can't ever run to him, or seek his support. He'll never be there to rescue me again.

Weird stuff. I... ]]> feeds@kickapps.com (Adventurer) http://fearofflyingmessageboard.com/sreply/7514 Tue, 06 Oct 2009 18:02:00 PST http://fearofflyingmessageboard.com/reply/7513/t/Sad-update-.html#reply-7513
And of course it's relevant; this is about supporting each other, and about not being alone in our experiences of any kind.

At some point it may be very real to you that you - perhaps unlike any other person - have the ability to keep him alive inside you. It may be that no one else can give him that but you.

At some even later point, when grieving has taken its course, and it is no long so terribly painful to remember moments with him, moments with him will give you strength. Our emotional strength comes from others, and from moments with them in which they were tuned into us, our needs, our dreams, our wants, our fears, and our feelings about them as well. If we only had moments that continue, we wouldn't have much to go on. It is essential that we use whatever moments and whenever moments. No matter if they are not physically still part of our... ]]> feeds@kickapps.com (Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW) http://fearofflyingmessageboard.com/sreply/7513 Sun, 04 Oct 2009 16:22:50 PST http://fearofflyingmessageboard.com/topic/2125/t/Sad-update-.html
Having read all about the medical equipment they have on planes, etc, i wished he'd been taken ill on the plane. He had a heart attack brought on by a blood clot. He'd never had any medical problems before, not even high blood pressure.

I am obviously devastated.

As far as flying goes i feel this is a huge setback, especially after reading Captain Tom's articles about attachment.....

Anyway, sorry for the bad news i realise it's not relevant to this forum but i felt like i'd got to know people here after my time here last week.

Thanks for listening

Adventurer ]]> feeds@kickapps.com (Adventurer) http://fearofflyingmessageboard.com/topic/2125 Sun, 04 Oct 2009 16:01:31 PST