Hi my name is Melissa, and in November I am flying for the first time since 1999. It will be my first time flying alone. I am really nervous about several
aspects of this trip because I am a (slowly recovering) agoraphobic. I was diagnosed with agoraphobia in 2000, when I was still in high school. I had been put
on homebound schooling for a while during high school because I was not leaving my house. I did eventually get back into regular school and I started working.
In 2003, I was in a bad car crash, was injured, and was wheelchair bound for a while. After I was walking again, I drove for a while, but by 2004 I was not
driving at all and became housebound again because I experienced anxiety over even being in a car, much less driving one. My doctors thought that I had post
traumatic stress. I started going to therapy in 2005, and my therapist helped me with systematic desensitization. I am now driving again, going to school at a
local university, and interning with a program that helps disadvantaged children and their families. Life is much better when you face your fears.
That was my line of thinking when I decided to fly from Jacksonville, FL to Chicago this fall to visit my boyfriend and meet his family. They actually live in
Indiana, but I wanted to get a non-stop flight (to avoid the stressors involved with getting a connecting flight in Atlanta on the day before Thanksgiving) and
so my boyfriend is going to drive to Chicago and pick me up. (He would have needed to drive about the same amount of time to get to the airport in
Indianapolis.) I planned to get a one time perscription of Xanax for my flight -- I have taken it one time before when I had an MRI and I already know how it
effects me.
However, now that I have the tickets, I am starting to freak myself out. I think this was triggered by a discussion we had in my abnormal psychology class the
other day because my professor started talking about a patient who was involved in a wreck with a semi-truck. That got wrecks on my mind, and eventually I went
from thinking about wrecks to thinking about plane crashes. Of course with the anniversary of 9/11 happening yesterday, that seems to have made things worse.
Also, yesterday on my way to Bible study, there were two accidents. One involved cars and the other was a motorcycle accident. I had a panic attack in my car,
which hasn't happened in a long time -- and I drove back home because I was going to miss my Bible study anyway. I did get back into the car and drive to
class later, though.
Today I am wasting time where I could be doing something productive and just sitting around freaking myself out...
I am worried about crashing, even though I know driving is much more dangerous (and I know that from personal experience). In addition to that, I am worried
about being alone at the airport in the crowds and not knowing what to do or where to go. I am worried about the sensation of taking off.
Usually what I do when I have to go to an unfamiliar place is I take someone with me beforehand and check it out. I did this when I started school at my
university. On the first day of classes I knew exactly where to go so I was OK. It was familiar ground so being there alone was not an issue anymore.
With my anxiety over cars, I got over that in steps. I started out just sitting in my car for a few minutes every day, then backing the car up to the end of
the driveway every day, then driving in the neighborhood, then driving outside of the neighborhood, etc.
I am anxious about flying because I can't take anyone with me past security in the airport and I don't know what to expect. I also can't get myself
used to the plane like I could the car.
Then of course I am worried about the remote possibility of crashing, and being in pain like I was in the accident (only probably much worse pain if it was a
plane crash).
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Hello, I'm new here
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 melissa1208 |
Hello, I'm new here |
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Posts: 1 (09/12/08 10:17:04) |
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Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW |
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Posts: 2395 (09/16/08 15:50:04) |
Anxiety arises when we reach the limit of our ability to regulate affect internally. Since our internal ability is not easily increased, we turn outward for
relief, through control of the situation. If control is insufficient, we seek escape from the situation, or from awareness of the situation.
Anxious fliers complain of "feeling out of control" on the plane. They have neither internal nor external means to regulate affect. Sensations of flight are so intrusive, particularly during takeoff and in turbulence, that strategies to escape awareness can fail even when aided by drugs and alcohol. Anticipating failure to control affect, some choose physically risker - but emotionally safer - transportation. There is another reason why flying causes profound failure of affect regulation. The earth, like Linus's security blanket, is a Transitional Object. Representational Objects which cannot stand unaided are buttressed by the concreteness of the Transitional Object. When the concreteness of a Transitional Object is compromised, its power to support internal representation is lost, and the Representational Object is no longer real enough to provide soothing. |
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melissa1208 |
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Posts: 2 (11/15/08 18:54:18) |
If anxiety is the worst problem I have during my flights I will be quite thankful.
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Portastorm |
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Posts: 51 (11/16/08 07:12:53) |
Melissa, First of all welcome to SOAR!! You're at a great forum where you can find some excellent information and help. Many of us are just like you. We were/are paralyzed by a fear of flying. For me, it began on my honeymoon flight and plagued me for 17 years. I missed important family events, work trips, and social opportunities all because I was absolutely terrified to step onto an airplane. In those 17 years, I made several flights only because I doped myself up enough on Xanax with an amount that would put a horse to sleep! Yeah, it worked to a degree but it made me worthless for the entire trip/day and it made those around me miserable. So last summer, as I had before me a trip with my wife and kids from Texas to Boston, I decided to face the fear. I did the SOAR Fast Track course . . . and it worked like gangbusters! The trip to Boston was a blast and I flew and actually enjoyed it. Since that time I have flown about a dozen times (mostly for work) and the experience just keeps getting better and better. In fact, I was really bummed out several weeks ago because a work trip to Colorado got cancelled and I was so excited about getting to fly out of state. I never would have dreamed that would have been the case. I tried everything, too. Therapy, books, prayer (yes, I am a Christian and couldn't understand why God didn't 'cure' me) … nothing worked. But SOAR Fast Track did. My own personal belief is that God gave me the resources and the will to do the course last year and that was indeed my answer to prayer. Your comment about "getting it out of your system" is a curious one. I certainly don't want to discourage you but my own experience with FofF is that it never "gets out of your system." Your brain and psyche is like a power plant constantly producing those images and thoughts that terrify you. You may temporarily get it out but it comes back. Always does. The only way to overcome it, to beat it, is to disable or dismantle that power plant. For me, the way to do it was Fast Track. So, relish all of the advice and posts here as they will be most helpful. And I encourage you to consider doing something tangible that will truly empower you to overcome that fear and get the best of it. Again, welcome aboard! |
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Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW |
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Posts: 2439 (11/16/08 09:44:38) |
If may also help if you join us on the Wednesday night chat. Usually, Roger is there. Roger was agoraphobic and housebound as an adult, and did not fly for
thirty-one years. Now he has over fifty flights. Chatting with him, I believe, will give you some important support that resonates with your challenge. Also,
until recently, we have the videos in the FastTrackprogram available for download through another company under the name Rapid Relief. To standardize things,
we discontinued the name FastTrack -- since they are the same video courses -- and use Rapid Relief for both the streaming video course at If may also help if
you join us on the Wednesday night chat. Usually, Roger is there. Roger was agoraphobic and housebound as an adult, and did not fly for thirty-one years. Now
he has over fifty flights. Chatting with him, I believe, will give you some important support that resonates with your challenge. The videos in the
FastTrackprogram are available for download through another company under the name Rapid Relief. To standardize things, we discontinued the name FastTrack --
since they are the same video courses -- and use Rapid Relief for both the streaming video course at www.fearofflying.com/relief/ and the downloadable video
course at www.fearofflyingdownloads.com/store
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melissa1208 |
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Posts: 3 (02/17/09 14:48:24) |
Hello again and thank you all for the replies; I appreciate them. Sorry for my delay in response; I forgot about this place until recently (AKA when I heard about the recent plane crash on the news). My flights in November went well. The first flight was on a sunny and clear day and was great for me because I at least didn't have to worry about weather issues. The second flight was not as good because of snow/freezing rain, delays, and being at night. I had a great flight attendent on that flight, though, who went above and beyond to help me. I also had taken some Valium which helped as well. The flight itself wasn't bad at all, but waiting to take off and taking off weren't pleasant. I'm not nervous about the airports anymore now that I am familiar with them. I've learned that I do well once we are in the air and the flight attendant starts moving around. I keep an eye on him or her and if they aren't nervous then I'm fine, too. I also do OK with landing. I still hate taking off; I hate the sensation. Anyway I am going to be flying back to Chicago on March 14th and then back home on March 22nd. I'm nervous about it again. I'm not worried about experiencing anxiety on the plane -- if I do then whatever, I've experienced that before. I'm just terrified of the possibility of crashing. The two things that terrify me about crashing are that I would probably know what was coming and be terrified because of the sensation (possibly, depending on how the plane was crashing) and also that it would be very painful upon impact. I'm still going on the plane, just like I still drive when I need to. I used to terrify myself about driving (or being a passenger) after I had my wreck but now I'm pretty much desensitized to that. |
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melissa1208 |
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Posts: 4 (02/17/09 14:52:36) |
Also I'm wondering what you all can tell me about the airline I'm using and the type of plane I'll be flying on -- the airline is American Eagle
and the type of plane is an Embraer RJ145 Amazon. This will be the same airline and type of plane I flew with before.
Another question I have is when time are the Wednesday night chats? I am not home until 9ish on Wednesdays but could chat after then if they are still going on. |
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Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW |
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Posts: 2509 (02/19/09 11:28:16) |
The RJ145 is a commuter jet. This is a full fledged airliner with all the bells and whistles. Seating is one one side of the aisle and two on the other. It has
a good ride in bumpy air.
The chat is at 9 PM until 11 PM Eastern at www.fearofflying.com/chat.shtml/ |
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melissa1208 |
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Posts: 5 (02/27/09 05:24:14) |
Thanks Tom.
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melissa1208 |
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Posts: 6 (04/03/09 22:00:44) |
So I've been back from my trip for a while now -- my flights went well once again.
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Note from Capt. Tom I know everyone worries about weather, but pilots really do not worry about it. We simply - instead of worrying about it - completely prepare for it. Before going to the plane, we review the weather at the destination. If it is not 100% sure to be within legal limits when we arrive at the destination, we must specify an alternate airport in our planning documents, and load on plenty of fuel for going to the destination airport, and then if need be, diverting to the alternate airport. The legal limits are conservative. Even when weather is slightly outside the legal limits, any airline pilot could still land safely. You can rely on the captain never to land when the weather is not legal, and legality limits are reached prior to safety limits. If you are still anxious, call me and we can talk it over. I'm at 877 332-7359 from 10 AM until 7 PM Eastern time. For effective help, even if you are flying in a day or two, sign up now at www.fearofflying.com/fasttrack and call me when you finish Clip 9 so I can make sure you are all set. |
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Using Weather Information If you enter your ZIP Code or City at the top of the weather presentation, it will give you weather for your area. Or, you can enter your destination ZIP Code or City.
Click on the "LOCAL RADAR" button to see whether or not there are thunder- Turbulence, though it may cause anxiety, does not mean anything is wrong. Turbulence does not mean danger. The plane can handle far more turbulence than Mother Nature can dish out. Though flying in turbulence is safe, it doesn't feel safe. And here is where the SOAR programs come in. We can help you feel as safe when you fly as you actually are. You can see these programs at www.fearofflying.com/store. |
