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Less common feared aspect of flying - the duration?

Author	Comment
bubbleheart	Less common feared aspect of flying - the duration?	Lead	[-]
Posts: 1 (06/11/09 16:32:26) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	Tags : flying, cruise Im one of those people who deals with fear with the 'knowledge is power' method, so I've spent years reading up everything about planes/crashes/incidents/safety/fear of flying etc to the best of my non engineering/scientific capabilities. I know how realistically safe flying is and to an extent I enjoy airports and flying. I am also relatively fine on north american flights - most likely because they are shorter or because I have a strange reassurance that there is usually a landing destination somewhere reachable if problems arise. However, I have a nagging trouble on ocean flights - I feel like a lot of the 'disasters' seem to happen over the ocean at night. I am no more nervous than the average person on take off/landing/turbulence etc. However when it comes to the cruise part of a 6-8 hour flight over the ocean, I get paralyzed, which seems to be an unusual part of the flight to have a fear of. I am nagged by the constant knowledge that technically, at any given second of the next 6 hours, something could suddenly go wrong. It prevents me from doing much of anything on the flight to pass the time other than counting down chunks of time (which is agonizing!). I know that realistically everything is 99.99999% likely to go fine, but I dont know how to shake that 'no guarantees' thought, and the justification that 'Im sure people who were on doomed flights thought everything would be fine too!'. So basically Im wondering how people, especially people who are terrified of other parts of flying, deal with the calm but long duration of it? (I know its statistically the safest part of the flight but I cant seem to relax regardless of that fact). I only start to feel better when I know that the decent notification is coming and we're in sight of land!
vienna		#1	[-]
Posts: 4 (06/11/09 18:35:09) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	I can't offer any advice except compassion because I know EXACTLY what you mean. I too, have this sense of security when flying over land thinking that in case something was to go wrong we were most likely close to an airport. Being above water, more so crossing the Atlantic ocean or North Sea, absolutely terrifies me. There is nothing that can distract me, no amount of breathing exercises, music, movies, puzzles, etc... my eyes are WIDE open and my heart skips beats at any slight abnormal sound or movement. I'm with you 100%. I wish I could be one of those passengers that can snooze for a few hours
ellyinwash		#2	[-]
Posts: 2 (06/11/09 18:49:33) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	I feel the same way, too - and I'm flying across the Atlantic in two days! I keep trying to remind myself that I won't be all that far away from land - there's Canada, Greenland, Iceland, etc., along the way. I'm hoping it will also help that it'll be nighttime and I won't be able to see anything anyway. Other than that, I'm just going to try to relax and/or stay busy with movies and music. This message sounds a little more optimistic and confident than I actually feel, though. Anyone else have any good tips for the overseas cruise part?
OneAnt		#3	[-]
Posts: 842 (06/11/09 19:32:27) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	I was the complete opposite. The short hops bothered me far more than the long hauls. There was always something oddly comforting about transatlantic flights. To this day, I absolutely love eastbound transatlantic flights. As soon as the sun sets, I get that sleepy shiver, cover up with the blanket (or 2 if I'm in an exit row), and completely relax. Westbound flights are longer, always daylight, less comfortable because more people are awake, and therefore far more annoying to me. I swear time goes by half as fast during those last 2 hours. My advice is to get as physically comfortable as possible. First, try to get an exit row or a bulkhead. While only the exit row offers up the extra legroom, the bulkhead can drastically reduce the cramped feeling since there's no one in front of you. It feels more like you have your own personal space. Second, wear soft, loose clothing (like sweats), wear comfy socks (my wife bought me these thick and somehat fuzzy things that I like), and bring your own pillow/blanket if you like. After the meal/drink service, tuck in and nest. The more at home you can feel during the flight, the more relaxed you'll be. Obviously it's not going to cure your fear, but every little bit helps.
esprit12		#4	[-]
Posts: 68 (06/12/09 03:07:24) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	Hi bubbleheart, SOAR is absolutely the key for reducing anxiety, however, I completely agree with OneAnt. Get as comfortable as possible and you'll feel better. I have a flight to Switzerland (via Munich) on June 20. I didn't come up with this idea but it has really helped me in the past.. I think I read it on the message board at some point. What I try to do is get a map of the flight path. We're flying on Lufthansa so I went to their web site and was able to print out the general route that will be followed. I have divided it into three parts. Rather than counting off the minutes (which can make one even more anxious) I cut the time into three blocks. (1) My experience is that take-off, dinner and a movie take about three hours. (2) I'm usually able to sleep for three to four hours. Then at some point I look out and see a spectacular sunrise which always makes me feel better. (3) From then on I read, do a crossword,talk with someone etc. By that time we're ready to start putting things away to get ready for landing. Again SOAR has been the key for me but hints from other travelers have also been a great help. Have a great trip, Pam
cacik		#5	[-]
Posts: 24 (06/12/09 06:19:55) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	I definitely agree that the SOAR program works....I used the Rapid Relief before my flight from NJ - San Diego last month and had the best flying experiences I've ever had. Granted, I wasn't over the ocean (not sure when I'll tackle that, maybe next year) but I used to be exactly the same while cruising - terrified, afraid to even move an inch, listening to every noise, picturing disaster every minute...etc. Pam's strategy of mapping out the flight and breaking the duration into segments is great. I did that on my last flight - planned out what I would do (read, sketch, look at pictures, listen to music) and for how long. As it turns out, what I mostly did was look at family photos....that was a great distraction. With each photo, I would go back a relive the memory. It was very calming for me. Thanks, Cacik
Alex		#6	[-]
Posts: 9 (07/29/09 07:41:07) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	I know how you all feel! I'm flying on a night flight to dublin tomorrow. I've heard many arguments over how long the flight actually is, even though our confirmation says 7 1/2 hours. 7 1/2 hours over water??? I usually only sleep 3-4 if I'm lucky. 3-4 hours of looking down into black nothingness. Comforting. I also heard it was true that planes flying over water fly closer to the edges of land rather than being out in the middle of the wild blue yonder. I really hope that's true. Maybe night flights will be smoother. I'm trying to talk myself out of any fears I may have, although I'm pretty calm right now. I know about the turbulence over Canada and off the coast of Shannon...I don't think it will be too terrible. It doesn't sound severe anyway. Good suggestions on how to keep busy!
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW		#7	[-]
Posts: 2660 (07/29/09 11:43:17) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	Knowledge, alone, is not enough. Emotions are not controlled by knowledge. That's why the strengthening exercise is essential. It links each thought/image/feeling to a calming influence so that anxiety is controlled automatically. When you consider that emotions are triggered in milliseconds, it should be obvious that knowledge - which takes several seconds to organize - can't do much to stop the feelings.
isabella		#8	[-]
Posts: 2 (08/09/09 15:19:38) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	i, too, have that problem with flights over the ocean, and to a smaller degree, flying over wide mountain ranges. also, the higher we are, the worse. (the only flight i've actually enjoyed in the last few years was a 30-minute 20-seater plane that felt like a motorcycle flying through the air - crazy, huh?). i have a suspicion that somehow my cave(wo)man brain takes over and says, THIS IS NOT RIGHT, WE ARE TOO FAR FROM THE GROUND!!!! the strange thing is that as soon as we descend (most of the flights i've been on lately are to destinations right by the ocean) i feel better. so i guess it's a matter of soothing the cave woman. and yes, knowledge doesn't help much there. what calms down the cave woman?
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW		#9	[-]
Posts: 2667 (08/10/09 08:20:28) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	Dear Isabella, This points out that it is not the severity of what you are facing, but the number of things you are facing - or imagine you are facing. Anticipatory anxiety is the biggest anxiety because everything is in front of you. That is the maximum number, so the maximum number of things can trigger a stress hormone release, so with one thought after another, you get lots of stress hormones. Then as the flight starts, some things that were in the future are now behind you. Finally, when you are about to land, you have only one thing in mind. And even though you might think the plane might crash when landing, it is only ONE thing, and thus only ONE shot of stress hormones, and so it is not difficult. This points to the importance of training the mind NOT to react to these many thoughts by learning and practicing the strengthening exercise for a few days so it works automatically when you fly.
isabella		#10	[-]
Posts: 4 (08/10/09 09:04:55) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	thanks, that makes total sense re the anticipatory anxiety. i'd also be interested in your take on the feeling of an older brain (the limbic system, i guess) completely taking over because it interprets the whole experience as, well, "wrong". come to think of it, that would also tie into fear of bridges, elevators and too-fast moving cars (all of which i experience occasionally, to a much lesser degree; the worst i get is nervousness and super sweaty palms). is there a way in which that part of the brain is convinced that anything but walking is suspicious? (which of course makes absolutely no sense in the view of statistics).
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW		#11	[-]
Posts: 2668 (08/10/09 18:14:03) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	When stress builds too high, the "executive function" of the brain shuts down, and there is no control of feelings. The key is to keep anxiety from becoming so high that "executive function" does not shut down, and this can only be done automatically. As to the brain not trusting: security or insecurity is establish VERY early based on early relationships. If not ideal, we turn to control of everything, and - as you say - we can control walking, but not much else. The "trick" is to retain the mind to NOT see anything and everything as a threat.
Anastasia875	Flight Duration and claustrophobia.	#12	[-]
Posts: 10 (08/12/09 07:22:57) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	I think I may have a problem with sitting on a plane for more than a couple of hours. On a three hour flight to Arizona a couple of years ago is when I had my first anxiety attack on a plane. I was just reading, sitting near the window when I froze and quietly started panicking. Luckily it went away in a reasonable amount of time but now it's always in the back of my mind. The last trip I took a year ago I was able to watch DVDs on a laptop computer and that seemed to help with the passing of time. I also sat in the aisle seat and tried to think of being on the plane as if I was on a bus. I still sometimes had a problem with looking out the window, fear of heights, I guess. Good luck to everyone who has a longer flight!
joycesvoices	Just Curious	#13	[-]
Posts: 1 (08/15/09 13:47:59) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	I am wondering if either of you, bubbleheart or vienna, went through the SOAR program that includes learning strengthening exercises? Based on what I've read, you would not have experienced the problems you report if you'd used these exercises. Did you not know about them or did they not work for you? Thanks for any insight.

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Less common feared aspect of flying - the duration?

Less common feared aspect of flying - the duration?