Hi everyone. This is my first post, although I've been reading the boards for a couple weeks. I have a three-leg flight scheduled Thursday on
Lufthansa/United (Belgrade-Frankfurt-Chicago-Indianapolis). I fly a lot and have suffered from various degrees of flight-related anxiety for the last ten
years. I hate to admit it, but self medication used to be my tool of choice to deal with it. I would drink enough to sleep/pass out on overseas flights or
enough to just be tipsy on shorter flights. It seemed to work at the time, but I've since outgrown this tactic.
When my husband, son (now 3.5 yrs) and I moved to Belgrade in November we flew from IAD to Munich. Somewhere over Nova Scotia the turbulence got very bad. I didn't know about the "watch a cup of water" trick at the time, but I don't think it would have helped. My husband's cup of juice spilled all over his lap. I was terrified. And we were only 1.5 hours into the flight. After the seatbelt signs finally went off, I went to check-in with a FA. She told me she hadn't had it that rough in a long time. Ugh. Lucky me. It started again half way over the Atlantic. My son slept peacefully through it all, but I just kept thinking and telling my husband that I just couldn't handle it. The terror, loss of control--it all just seems to be too much for me.
Now (and sorry to ramble) I have been plagued on every flight I've been on since. I mostly travel alone for work. I was so convinced we were going down on an AirOne flight descending into Torino rolling and bumping over the mountains and through thick clouds that I grabbed the poor guy sitting next to me. He hardly spoke any English, but tried to comfort me. I just squeezed the life out of his hand and cried. I have tried to have a couple drinks before getting on, but I seem to cry even more during take-off. I don't think it helps that I mostly have to travel on airlines with questionable reputations (JAT and Alitalia). On my last flight in May the pilots, surely after hearing about my pitiful case from the FAs, asked me to sit with them in the cockpit. I stayed there for the remainder of the flight, including landing. It helped and I asked tons of questions. They were great.
So, all of this history leads me to this coming Thursday when I, now pregnant, travel alone with my 3.5 year old on the long, aforementioned flight home. I think I am mostly scared of myself and my reactions. I have proved myself to be a minor basketcase on flights over the past few months. I am afraid I can't deal anymore, but I am bound and determined to make sure my son won't pick up on any of this fear. Obviously my biggest concern is the long haul on the 747 to Chicago. I'm doing all the crazy stuff like checking weather. And guess what. Chance of T-storms in every single departure and arrival city. Turbulence may not cause planes to plummet, but I can't say the same for my sanity. Logically, I know how safe we will be. I know the chances of anything going wrong, let alone anything catastrophic, are extremely slim. I just wish logic were stronger than my emotions. Admittedly, I have a lot of other emotional garbage that I'm dealing with right now as well.
Anyway, I just wanted all of you to know that I exist and to ask that you maybe send me some good vibes for these flights Thursday. It does help to read the boards and I think I'm a good candidate for the program. I have a lot of packing and loose ends to tie up in the next few days. Thanks for reading this very long post!
Serena
When my husband, son (now 3.5 yrs) and I moved to Belgrade in November we flew from IAD to Munich. Somewhere over Nova Scotia the turbulence got very bad. I didn't know about the "watch a cup of water" trick at the time, but I don't think it would have helped. My husband's cup of juice spilled all over his lap. I was terrified. And we were only 1.5 hours into the flight. After the seatbelt signs finally went off, I went to check-in with a FA. She told me she hadn't had it that rough in a long time. Ugh. Lucky me. It started again half way over the Atlantic. My son slept peacefully through it all, but I just kept thinking and telling my husband that I just couldn't handle it. The terror, loss of control--it all just seems to be too much for me.
Now (and sorry to ramble) I have been plagued on every flight I've been on since. I mostly travel alone for work. I was so convinced we were going down on an AirOne flight descending into Torino rolling and bumping over the mountains and through thick clouds that I grabbed the poor guy sitting next to me. He hardly spoke any English, but tried to comfort me. I just squeezed the life out of his hand and cried. I have tried to have a couple drinks before getting on, but I seem to cry even more during take-off. I don't think it helps that I mostly have to travel on airlines with questionable reputations (JAT and Alitalia). On my last flight in May the pilots, surely after hearing about my pitiful case from the FAs, asked me to sit with them in the cockpit. I stayed there for the remainder of the flight, including landing. It helped and I asked tons of questions. They were great.
So, all of this history leads me to this coming Thursday when I, now pregnant, travel alone with my 3.5 year old on the long, aforementioned flight home. I think I am mostly scared of myself and my reactions. I have proved myself to be a minor basketcase on flights over the past few months. I am afraid I can't deal anymore, but I am bound and determined to make sure my son won't pick up on any of this fear. Obviously my biggest concern is the long haul on the 747 to Chicago. I'm doing all the crazy stuff like checking weather. And guess what. Chance of T-storms in every single departure and arrival city. Turbulence may not cause planes to plummet, but I can't say the same for my sanity. Logically, I know how safe we will be. I know the chances of anything going wrong, let alone anything catastrophic, are extremely slim. I just wish logic were stronger than my emotions. Admittedly, I have a lot of other emotional garbage that I'm dealing with right now as well.
Anyway, I just wanted all of you to know that I exist and to ask that you maybe send me some good vibes for these flights Thursday. It does help to read the boards and I think I'm a good candidate for the program. I have a lot of packing and loose ends to tie up in the next few days. Thanks for reading this very long post!
Serena
