Just come back from a 12+ hour flight taking me from Cologne, Germany to Shanghai, China with a stop over at Munich, Germany. Am adjusting to the local time
(+7 hours difference) loosing necessary sleep. Time thus to write on this board (what I should be doing more).
It has been almost 5 years since my first panick attack on a plane -passed out again and again- and about 2.5 years since SOAR. What a difference it makes!
Life was soooooooooo enjoyable till December 2004... For about 15 years I would be travelling the globe until it hit me! December 2004, right before the Asian
tsunami, I got a severe panick attack on a routine flight from Phuket to Bangkok, Thailand. Having to take a connecting flight to Vienna, Austria followed by a
Vienna - Cologne, Germany flight seemed impossible. I took medice, and gulped down couple of whiskeys in Bangkok to make myself believe to be able to continue
(were it not for my spouse to take control).
How it all changed since SOAR...
I just went online to check my mileage status and realize having flown 12 flights in 30 days. Part business, part private. Part fearless, part anxious. Part
known, branded planes, part small planes. Lots of turbulence, no turbulence. Jet engined planes, propellor driven aircraft. Nice people seated next to me, #$%
people next to me. Male captain, female captain. Good sleep, no sleep. Delays, no delays.
The small lessons I learned:
1. Life is not black and white.
2. Bridges, tunnels, elevators, heights, planes... You can overcome your fears. I did.
3. It is OK to show vulnerability. You will be surprised to the reaction of any flight crew when showing your fears if you never did before. Those people
should be awarded a medallion!
4. You are not alone in your fears. The decision to change your attitude/take control over it is yours however, only yours, not theirs.
5. Details are important.
6. Your worry doesn't contribute one single bit to the outcome of a flight (or anything else in life for that matter).
7. It is OK to feel bad for a while as long as you keep on living.
8. It is OK to trust other people. (Would you be better yourself at the task at hand?)
9. Your kids need the truth, not pretention.
10. You can/will never receive a SOAR (or life) graduation certificate, as life evolves around us. Circumstances change. You either accept and live as to the
full as possible, either you give up. The choice is yours!
Cheers. Stefan.
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12 flights in two months or how SOAR changed my life.
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 Stefan |
12 flights in two months or how SOAR changed my life. |
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Posts: 31 (07/27/09 03:20:30) |
Last Edited By: Stefan 07/27/09 04:15:32.
Edited 1 time.
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esprit12 |
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Posts: 103 (07/27/09 09:45:44) |
Congratulations Stefan and thanks for your post.
It sounds like you have really taken control of your fears and regained a part of your life that is very important to you - being able to travel for business or pleasure and not be paralyzed by fear. I haven't come as far as you but the important thing for me is to keep moving forward. You are a great example for us all. I also think that many of the skills and attitudes learned through SOAR can be applied to many aspects of life. Do we become active participants in life or do we sit back and watch the rest of the world go by? Is it easy? - No. Can it be done? - Absolutely! Best Wishes and Bon Voyage! Pam |
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martin2u |
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Posts: 2 (07/28/09 07:13:37) |
congratulations!!!SOAR really help.
SOAR History The First Courses
Last Edited By: martin2u
08/05/09 03:11:45.
Edited 1 times.
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Stefan |
Puzzled... | ||
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Posts: 32 (07/29/09 19:19:50) |
martin2u. Thanks for the congrates. I do not understand the meaning nor purpose of the rest of your reply. Must admit not being able to access the link you
posted however... What are you getting at?
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Capn Steve |
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Posts: 608 (08/01/09 16:19:48) |
Stefan --
I think that the point that Martin2u is trying to make is -- SOAR has evolved quite a lot over the years. What works has been retained. What does not work has been discarded. And new methods have been added. My understanding is, the "graduation flight" was discarded eventually, because, as was pointed out, taking the flight did not necessarily translate into success in taking future flights. The graduation flight was a group exercise, with others in the same situation to offer mutual support. However, it's more effective for the individual to be able to deal with Fear of Flying on his/her own, with no outside support. Because that's how most flights really are. Capt. Tom went to grad school and became a therapist himself, because he saw that "traditional" therapy methods did not work, or at least had very limited success, with dealing with FF. So, he developed his own. (Tom -- please correct me if I'm wrong about any of this. But I'm thinking I got --at least -- most of it right.) Anyway, Stefan, congratulations on your accomplishment. And - it IS truly an accomplishment. And -- your "small lessons" are really very large lessons. Very cogent observations, that apply to anyone, not just FFs. Best to you. Cheers. Steve |
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isabella |
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Posts: 1 (08/09/09 14:44:02) |
i just want to thank you guys for being here. i had often been a bit nervous around flying but nothing major. then in 2004, i went from munich to london,
then from london to vancouver. munich-london was lovely. london-vancouver was the worst 8 hours of my life. i would compare the emotional pain of flight
anxiety with labour pains, only i've never been afraid of labour pains. the crew was unbelievably unhelpful. i didn't fly after that for a while,
then went on a short flight with my husband in 2007, and while nervous-ish, it seemed ok, partly because i really prepared myself. then this january to hawaii
- three flights, two of them very hard. on one of them, my face was soaking wet with tears. nevertheless, i found a way to talk myself into being able to
live with it - and then the accident with the flight from brazil happened. that's what broke the camel's back.
but - my mother lives in germany, and i live in vancouver, and she is getting very old. i need to be able to hop on a plane. right now i can't (or won't; of course i can, physically). i've known about captain tom's work for a while, and i KNOW it will help me. reading your guys' story already makes a difference. thank you!!! |
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Note from Capt. Tom I know everyone worries about weather, but pilots really do not worry about it. We simply - instead of worrying about it - completely prepare for it. Before going to the plane, we review the weather at the destination. If it is not 100% sure to be within legal limits when we arrive at the destination, we must specify an alternate airport in our planning documents, and load on plenty of fuel for going to the destination airport, and then if need be, diverting to the alternate airport. The legal limits are conservative. Even when weather is slightly outside the legal limits, any airline pilot could still land safely. You can rely on the captain never to land when the weather is not legal, and legality limits are reached prior to safety limits. If you are still anxious, call me and we can talk it over. I'm at 877 332-7359 from 10 AM until 7 PM Eastern time. For effective help, even if you are flying in a day or two, sign up now at www.fearofflying.com/fasttrack and call me when you finish Clip 9 so I can make sure you are all set. |
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Using Weather Information If you enter your ZIP Code or City at the top of the weather presentation, it will give you weather for your area. Or, you can enter your destination ZIP Code or City.
Click on the "LOCAL RADAR" button to see whether or not there are thunder- Turbulence, though it may cause anxiety, does not mean anything is wrong. Turbulence does not mean danger. The plane can handle far more turbulence than Mother Nature can dish out. Though flying in turbulence is safe, it doesn't feel safe. And here is where the SOAR programs come in. We can help you feel as safe when you fly as you actually are. You can see these programs at www.fearofflying.com/store. |
