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CBT is good therapy for feelings that are static, or feelings of anxiety that arise slowly, but CBT, being word-based, can't work at the speed needed in order to counter - actually to prevent - the systems in the brain that cause anxiety to rise at lightning speed when something about a flight triggers the amygdala.

There is an interesting reason why meds don't work. See www.fearofflying.com/about/fear-of-flying-treatments.shtml

Often the problem develops at your age. In fact, the average age of onset is twenty-seven. It seems that as teenagers, we figure bad things only happen to other people. And that protects us from anxiety. But as we mature, or we have a close call (perhaps that turbulence seemed to you to be a close call, though I'm absolutely sure it wasn't) flying becomes difficult.

We human beings are born with HALF of the emotion regulation system in place (the half that revs us up) and HALF of the system does not exist whatsoever (the half that calms us down). The brain system that will provide the ability to calm ones own self begins to develop at around eight months.

Until that time ALL calming the young child gets is from others, and often that calming is not adequate and the young child experiences terror and this terror is, amazingly, recorded in the brain forever.

Then, around ten months, the part of the brain that has the POTENTIAL to become able to calm us starts to be available. At that point, the young child can, if conditions are good, begin to memorize what caregivers do to provide calming. And here is where the problem becomes critical: the only way a human learns to effectively self-calm is be memorizing the steps received from someone who is very, very good at providing calming.

Obviously, caregivers - regardless of how much they care - vary in their ability to tune in the the child and assure the child in a way that works. As a result, on a scale of zero to ten, a few of us get a "ten" level of ability to calm ourselves, and most of us get far less. People who get a "one" or a "two" are the people who become addicts. Those of us in the middle have enough ability to calm ourselves that we can develop strategies to make up for what we were not given during those early formative months.

The strategies typically involve (when dealing with uncertainty)

control
escape

Control: if we control a situation, we often believe (whether really true or not) that we can make sure everything works out OK, such as when driving a car. Though it is not nearly as safe as flying, we FEEL safer because our hands are on the wheel.

Escape: this means not only a way out if things don't go well, but a way to maintain a certain distance, either physically or psychologically.

On the ground, we do OK. But when we get aboard a plane, we have no control and no escape. Frankly, all this does is put up back to the level of ability to regulate emotions we were originally given. But that ability originally given simply leaves us exposed to the terror of anything we can imagine. (There are reasons - too complex to explain here - that cause what we imagine to become so real that it causes terror.)

That is the problem. The the only way to prevent the feelings that cause you so must distress is to increase the calming that works unconsciously and automatically. Why? Because fear develops too fast for the rational mind to keep up and counter the feelings with reason. That is why things you have tried - and the things others recommend - have not worked.

I can teach you how to set up a way to control the feelings automatically. Once it is set up, you will fly (no matter how doubtful you are) like everyone else does. When you fly, you will be totally amazed and wonder what happened to the feelings.

I believe you will find everything you need with Complete Relief plus the counseling session with me included in the program. You do view the videos online. You can also download them or get a set of DVDs. There are forty video clips. When you get to clip number nine, call me so I can make sure that the way you are doing the exercise that establishes automatic control is set up just right. The details are important.

Please go to: www.fearofflying.com/relief/ and sign up. That WILL give you what you are looking for as I'm sure people on the board here will be telling you. Most people doubt anything will work, but this does, as you can see from the thousands of comments on the message board.

If you would like to talk it over with me, please just call. 800 332-7359.

In a way, I personally connect with your frustration about not finding a solution. It took me about ten years of working with clients, doing research, studying at institutes, etc., to develop the methods that work. For a long time, it looked like nothing would work. But finally, it all clicked, and now we can help everyone no matter how difficult their problem with flying is.