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I did it and you can too!

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murph	I did it and you can too!	Lead	[-]
Posts: 1 (10/09/09 21:11:15) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	Tags : None Hi All, I just wanted to take a moment to tell you about my experience and to give some words of encouragement for people who are in the same boat I was in a few months ago. Let me preface this by saying that I did not do the Soar program, because I was already in therapy when I found it. I did however, read this board and Cpt. Tom's information about planes and airlines before I went on my trip, which was really helpful so thank you! Basically, prior to my recent trip, the last time I flew was in 2003 to Istanbul, Turkey, a 10 hour flight. Somewhere between the ages of 16 and 21 I developed a fear of flying, but it was not at the point to prevent me from doing it. I would medicate and get on the plane. When I got back from that trip, my anxiety got the better of me and I was grounded until June of this year. The thing you have to understand is that I had/have panic disorder. My anxiety was not just about planes, but about practically any situation I couldn't control and most often with forms of transportation, ie. buses, trains, subway and planes. And, it was pretty bad. I tried various drugs, but they weren't helpful, made me gain weight and really lethargic. People with panic disorder eventually get to the point where they avoid situations that cause them to feel anxiety. So basically, I wouldn't do anything that I "thought" would make me have a panic attack. And, I sat in a very limited shadow of my former life for about 5 years. Not a great way to live. However, I went back to school for a PhD program in 2007. And, my area requires me to do research and research abroad. And, time was running out to nip this problem in the bud or essentially drop out of the program because I wouldn't be able to do the research. I also finally got to the point where I was sick of being this way. This kind of situation is stressful on yourself but also on those around you. And, it isn't fair to you or your loved ones to live your life this way when there are other options. At this point, I did the research and learned that CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) has the highest rate of success with people with panic disorder and phobias. Not drugs, and not other therapies which weren't really working for me. I decided that I needed to find a thearpist who did CBT and fast no matter the cost. (And, trust me it cost. Insurance did not cover this, so meetings were 150$ a session). Luckily, I live in Boston and BU has a Center for Anxiety that specializes in this. I started therapy with a doctor there, and it has made all the difference. If you want more info on this kind of therapy, feel free to reply and I will answer questions. We started out doing little things to prepare me for the long list of things that bother me with flying being at the very top. And, essentially what CBT does is exposure therapy. The point is to bring on the sensations of panic in a controlled setting so that you learn that these physical feelings are not going to kill you. And, then you retrain your body to stop having the sensations all together. So essentially after months of this and working on things from drinking coffee to crowds to the train, I had to go on my trip. I had won grant money, and I needed to go and there was no turning back. I had so much anticipatory anxiety, I can't even explain it all. I took everything as a sign. Part of my trip was France, I really truly thought that Nadal losing in the French Open for the first time in 4 years meant my plane was going to crash. I was hysterical for weeks. I couldn't eat. I would have dreams about plane crashes. And, finally, I had to book the flight, and I did. I booked the flight (Boston to Dublin- 1 because I needed to go to Ireland for my research and 2 because it is the shortest flight to Europe from here). I checked this website and learned that Aer Lingus was a safe airline. I read about planes and noises and the whole nine yards. But, I didn't book all of my stuff on the other side (this was a six week trip) because I was convinced we wouldn't make it. Crazy I know, but I know some of you understand how I feel. I can honestly say, I did not know I was going to get on that plane until the moment I did. I was fully prepared to walk away and lose the money and potentially tick off my husband for good. And, to make matters worse, our tickets were for June 1st, which was the morning that news broke that Air France had crashed off Brazil. What are the chances? I called my therapist 5 times. He later told me he wasn't convinced I would do it. But, ultimately, I got to the airport, and I watched the planes land. And, I thought, what are the chances 2 in the same day? But, also, no pilot wants to crash! This is their life too. I need to trust that they are the professionals that they are and they will get us there safely. Finally, I just decided that I had had it. I had had it with this farse of a life I was leading. I was sick of being this person who was afriad to live my life. And, I was sick of the build up. Six years is a long time to psych yourself out of something. And, all my CBT training had taught me up to this point, that a panic attack was not going to kill me. Even if I cried the whole way, I was going to do this because I was too tired and I was done with this problem. I got on the plane and I flew to Ireland. I am not going to lie. I will probably never "like" flying. I was unable to sleep like I had in the past as I was not taking drugs. And, I wasn't really able to relax. But, I did not have a panic attack. I honestly, could not believe how huge of a deal I had made this in my life. When I got off the plane in Dublin, I was very emotional almost high and certainly euphoric for conquering this fear. We went on to take trains and ferries to Scotland, Italy, France, etc. I got a lot of research done. And, I had a very memorable trip and an experience that I can hold on to for life. And, now I take these lessons and apply them to anything that makes me nervous. When I returned, I asked my therapist if he thought I would do it, and he said he was 50/50 until Air France crashed, and that I was on the severe end of the spectrum of patients he had seen. So, if I could do it, there is hope for most people. I want you to know, that if you are like I was, that getting help is huge. I knew in my head that I just needed to do it, but I couldn't. I was paralyzed with fear to the point that my body had physical symptoms (panic). I needed a professional, who had seen people like me conquer this, to help me make the steps to get to this point. And, the thousands I have spent were worth it. But, if you are not in the postion to spend the $$$, other things like this website can really help you. The information is the key that will help you rationalize that this is not something you should fear. But, ultimately, you need to be ready to take the step to change your life and just do it. And, if you aren't ready now, start little. Learn the info, and make small changes until you get to this point. But, don't lose hope, and don't think that meds are the only solution. This is a condition that can be beat. You can have a normal life again. Last Edited By: murph 10/12/09 15:52:29. Edited 1 time.
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW		#1	[-]
Posts: 2734 (10/10/09 07:00:47) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	Great work! It takes huge courage to face feelings when the internal controls you should have been given during the first two years of life were not provided to you. CBT is interesting. That, unfortunately, is the best I can say for it, because when SOAR was founded in 1982, we used CBT, and continued to use it for years. It was the best thing available. But that really is faint praise. As you said, "And, all my CBT training had taught me up to this point, that a panic attack was not going to kill me." When the Strengthening Exercise was stumbled upon while working with a client, it produced amazing results, results far more powerful than CBT produced at best. That presented us with a bit of a problem: if we continued teaching CBT, it would build character. If we made the Strengthening Exercise available, it would not build character at all, but give people a way to control feelings automatically. It made flying effortless for people who had been suffering greatly. When I realized that, basically, when we taught them the Strengthening Exercise, we were giving people what they DESERVED AS HUMAN BEINGS to have been given by their primary caregivers - but were not given. So yes. You have huge things to be proud of. Yes. It is character-building. But now that you have built that character, get what you deserved to have been given but weren't. I hope you don't feel I am criticizing your primary caregivers; they - after all - could not give you anything they, themselves, did not have to give because they, in turn, had not been given it. All of us, I believe, have a right to develop the ability to regulate feelings naturally. The work we are doing is offering that to people who didn't receive it originally. CBT, for all that it is, simply cannot come close to the result the Strengthening Exercise can produce. The reason is, to use CBT, emotion has to be controlled well-enough for the part of the brain to does high level cognition to work. When emotions rise quickly, that part of the brain is swamped, and it is impossible to do CBT. Someday, people will recognize CBT for what it is. Nice try. But no cigar. And, as you have found, very expensive as well.
murph		#2	[-]
Posts: 3 (10/10/09 21:29:15) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	I just wanted to provide a quick reply. Like I said, I did not do the strengthening activity, so I cant speak about it per se. I mainly used this board for encouragement, which is ultimately why I posted my story. I can see however, how the strengthening activity would be extremely helpful to some people. But, ultimately, i don't feel that CBT fell short for me. Maybe it is different for others, especially those without panic disorder but only a phobia of flying. I could see where a focused activity would be more helpful for those people especially when there is limited time. Like I said, my disorder interfered with a lot of situations outside of flying. I agree that when emotions rise quickly, it is hard to cope. But, I don't view CBT as something you do. It isn't an exercise that I practice to calm the nerves or to distract myself from the feelings. It is quite the opposite. The point was to make me have those feelings. To do anything I could to bring them on. Ultimately, to induce the panic attack and experience it without trying to cope with it. And, I avoided anything, drugs, distraction, relaxation techniques in order to experience the actual emotions, the actual fear. That way you learn that the emotions and physical sensations won't kill you and that you can handle it. And, eventually after repeated exposures the sensations subside. And, you don't need to do anything to make it go away in the moment, because you no longer recognize the situation as one that should be feared. Ultimately, this happened to me. Because I spent months reducing the sensations by confronting them, when the time came to fly I actually felt relief. I did not have the physical sensations, but most of all, I no longer had the horrible anticipatory anxiety because it was out of my hands. It was done, and I was in the air. And quite frankly, the reality was no where near as bad as what I had made up in my mind. I am sure other methods work. And, everyone is different and may respond to different types of therapy. But, for me CBT was not really a character building experience as much as a very basic experience. On a very basic level I retrained my body not to fear situations that it used to overreact to and deem dangerous. But, I do appreciate the information this website provided. Last Edited By: murph 10/12/09 15:49:56. Edited 2 times.
Lilangel76	Awesome!	#3	[-]
Posts: 16 (10/11/09 06:19:32) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	So proud of you! You do have to go on living your life and not stay in fear...
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW		#4	[-]
Posts: 2738 (10/12/09 06:57:07) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	The approach you describe is not CBT developed by Aaron Beck or David Barlow, but a more advanced way to treat phobia that was developed by Reid Wilson, Ph.D. Reid wrote "Don't Panic" in the 1980s when he was a young and relatively inexperienced therapist. The book presented the original CBT way of treating phobia. But Reid went around the U.S. holding workshops for therapists while he continued treating people and developing more advanced methods. When newer methods were developed, he included them in the second edition. Reid has said that originally, when working with a person with bridge phobia, he would walk with them as they started crossing the bridge. Then, when the person had a panic attack, they would walk off the bridge. The next day, they would do it again, trying to get a few steps more. That was continued, getting a few more steps each time before panic hit, until the person could cross the bridge. Then he found a better way - which is the way you were treated - which was, when the person had the panic attack, instead of leaving the bridge, he and the client would stay right there for close to fifteen minutes, time for the panic attack to go away, thus teaching the client that it was not necessary to leave the bridge to have the panic go away. Reid then continued doing workshops for therapists teaching the revised method, and fortunately you had a therapist who was savvy to the revised method which is, as I said, not the CBT method, but Reid's method. Now, as people read this, they might say they have been in situations they did not leave and the panic did not go away. The difference is the empathic attunement. Reid provided, as the person had the panic attack, empathic attunement which became attached to the experience. Once empathic attunement is linked to what caused the panic, that thing no longer causes panic. We are simply genetically wired up to be calmed by empathic attunement, and this is so basic to us that it end panic if linked to what causes panic. This is precisely what we do with the strengthening exercise, but we do it without having you panic first. We first have the client, by imagination/visualization, recall vividly memory of a moment of empathic attunement. Then, we bring in the stimuli which potentially could cause panic, but bring it in in a mild form, so it does not produce panic. This links together the panic producing moment and the empathic attunement moment is a very simply way - the same thing Reid does in person with a client, and your therapist did with you by having you provoke panic when together in session. Finally, between panic and the attuned therapist were linked, the panic became impossible. So, fortunately, the treatment you got was - not CBT - but Reid's method which, though it takes several sessions with a therapist, is what we do using video and one phone session to make sure the client is linking flight with attunement properly. In both cases, rather than depend on CBT, we are depending upon empathic attunement. In your case, with the therapist (as Reid was with the client on the bridge) and in our method, linking flight with a memory of empathic attunement. You can read about Reid at http://anxieties.com/about.php One further note: you said you researched and found CBT to be the most effective way to treat anxiety and panic, and you will certainly find that stated though it is not the case. CBT is no more effective than a number of other approaches and when it comes to fear of flying, it doesn't come anywhere close to the effectiveness of the SOAR program. I know that because, as I said, we ORIGINALLY used CBT in the SOAR program back in the 1980s until we developed far more effective methods. And to make sure the point is clear to anyone reading this, the treatment you got was not CBT, but the more advanced treatment Reid developed. Last Edited By: Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW 10/12/09 07:03:31. Edited 1 times.

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Note from Capt. Tom

I know everyone worries about weather, but pilots really do not worry about it. We simply - instead of worrying about it - completely prepare for it. Before going to the plane, we review the weather at the destination. If it is not 100% sure to be within legal limits when we arrive at the destination, we must specify an alternate airport in our planning documents, and load on plenty of fuel for going to the destination airport, and then if need be, diverting to the alternate airport.

The legal limits are conservative. Even when weather is slightly outside the legal limits, any airline pilot could still land safely. You can rely on the captain never to land when the weather is not legal, and legality limits are reached prior to safety limits.

If you are still anxious, call me and we can talk it over. I'm at 877 332-7359 from 10 AM until 7 PM Eastern time.

For effective help, even if you are flying in a day or two, sign up now at www.fearofflying.com/fasttrack and call me when you finish Clip 9 so I can make sure you are all set.

Using Weather Information

If you enter your ZIP Code or City at the top of the weather presentation, it will give you weather for your area. Or, you can enter your destination ZIP Code or City.

Click on the "LOCAL RADAR" button to see whether or not there are thunder-
storms. Keep in mind, however, that we can either fly above the storms when cruising or fly through gaps between storms. During landing, we cannot fly above them, but fly through gaps, or through the area of the storms where the turbulence is least.

Turbulence, though it may cause anxiety, does not mean anything is wrong. Turbulence does not mean danger. The plane can handle far more turbulence than Mother Nature can dish out.

Though flying in turbulence is safe, it doesn't feel safe. And here is where the SOAR programs come in. We can help you feel as safe when you fly as you actually are.

You can see these programs at www.fearofflying.com/store.

For questions on aviation or the psychology of aerophobia, click here to e-mail Capt. Tom Bunn, MSW, LCSW.

To contact the SOAR business office (media contacts, brochures, replacement tapes, billing, shipping), click here to e-mail Lisa Hauptner, MS.