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How to Disconnect Other Fears from Flying

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usedtoloveit	How to Disconnect Other Fears from Flying	Lead	[-]
Posts: 1 (11/12/09 17:38:50) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	Tags : None Hi everyone, My fear only began a couple of years ago. I'm a rational, scientific person (I actually work in the science field) and I've always felt ashamed of what I think is a silly fear. Accidents do happen, but they are so rare and compared with my average daily activities (i.e. driving in NYC), it should be the least of my worries. I'm flying to London on Saturday and I'm really freaking out already. My last plane trip two months ago went terribly and I cried the whole way. I've read through the free SOAR materials and through this board and other online reading I've come to realize that my fear is not stemming from flying at all. Rather, I've somehow connected my fear of dying childless to flying. I've read that it's common to make connections about things that are troubling us in our everyday lives to flying which leads to anxiety about flying. Please don't laugh, but I've somehow convinced myself that getting on that plane means I'm going to die childless. It's gotten to the point where I feel sick just seeing a plane in the air. I'm terrified of being in the plane for 6 hours Saturday and I'm convinced the plane is going to crash. My scientific brain is screaming at me that I'm being ridiculous. Why can't I rationalize this?? Any suggestions you can give me? I don't feel like I can overcome this because it's not rational to begin with. How does someone rationalize an irrational fear? Thanks for reading and any help you can give. I also think it might help me if others on this board can share similar stories of difficult events in their lives leading to a fear of flying. How have you coped?
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW		#1	[-]
Posts: 2757 (11/12/09 18:43:48) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	I know exactly what this is. When you first think of a possibility of something awful like that, you are aware that you are thinking about it. But as you continue bringing it to mind and imagining that, at some point, that which you bring to mind becomes memorized. That changes everything. Anything memorized is stored in the same way in the brain. When it comes to mind next time - and thereafter - it comes to mind as fact! I've seen this time and again. After imagining the plane will crash several times, the person is absolutely sure the plane will crash. The "just know". This is nothing more than the way the mind works. Repeated imagination produces memory, and memory always seems like it is accurate. Also, since it comes to mind without effort, even in a dream, that makes it seem authoritative. But it isn't. This is why it is vitally important to NOT allow yourself to repeatedly entertain imagination of disaster.
usedtoloveit		#2	[-]
Posts: 2 (11/22/09 13:09:41) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	Thanks Captain Bunn! I tried my best to stop the images and focus on things I was going to see and do while I was in London. My fear only ever made it up to around a 6 or 7 out of 10 which is the best its been in months. I made it on the plane and back. When I got on board on the flight to London and went to my seat there was a baby seat strapped into my seat!!! This at first brought to my mind all the terrible fears I have about dying childless. I asked the flight attendant and she apologized saying there must have been some sort of mistake. And then she removed the seat. My brain thought three things: 1) the seat was a nasty omen that I was about to die childless on the plane, 2) the seat was a good omen that by facing my fear things will eventually turn out alright and I will have children, 3) it was just a freak coincidence. I forced myself to accept 2 or 3 as the possibility, leaning towards 3. I actually ended up switching seats with someone anyway. The flight was long and I hated the turbulence at night when I couldn't see the horizon to steady myself, but overall I did quite well. Virgin Atlantic has an amazing entertainment system. I also liked when the pilot turned on the seatbelt sign during turbulence the flight attendant made the typical announcement, but added in their uppercrust British accent, "this is no cause for concern." It made me wonder if British people suffer from fear of flying more than others? Anyway, I have another flight for Thanksgiving and I'm feeling relaxed about it at the moment. Thanks for all the help!

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Note from Capt. Tom

I know everyone worries about weather, but pilots really do not worry about it. We simply - instead of worrying about it - completely prepare for it. Before going to the plane, we review the weather at the destination. If it is not 100% sure to be within legal limits when we arrive at the destination, we must specify an alternate airport in our planning documents, and load on plenty of fuel for going to the destination airport, and then if need be, diverting to the alternate airport.

The legal limits are conservative. Even when weather is slightly outside the legal limits, any airline pilot could still land safely. You can rely on the captain never to land when the weather is not legal, and legality limits are reached prior to safety limits.

If you are still anxious, call me and we can talk it over. I'm at 877 332-7359 from 10 AM until 7 PM Eastern time.

For effective help, even if you are flying in a day or two, sign up now at www.fearofflying.com/fasttrack and call me when you finish Clip 9 so I can make sure you are all set.

Using Weather Information

If you enter your ZIP Code or City at the top of the weather presentation, it will give you weather for your area. Or, you can enter your destination ZIP Code or City.

Click on the "LOCAL RADAR" button to see whether or not there are thunder-
storms. Keep in mind, however, that we can either fly above the storms when cruising or fly through gaps between storms. During landing, we cannot fly above them, but fly through gaps, or through the area of the storms where the turbulence is least.

Turbulence, though it may cause anxiety, does not mean anything is wrong. Turbulence does not mean danger. The plane can handle far more turbulence than Mother Nature can dish out.

Though flying in turbulence is safe, it doesn't feel safe. And here is where the SOAR programs come in. We can help you feel as safe when you fly as you actually are.

You can see these programs at www.fearofflying.com/store.

For questions on aviation or the psychology of aerophobia, click here to e-mail Capt. Tom Bunn, MSW, LCSW.

To contact the SOAR business office (media contacts, brochures, replacement tapes, billing, shipping), click here to e-mail Lisa Hauptner, MS.