There's a saying about doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results being "insanity" comes to mind when I share with you my
most recent flying experience. This past week I traveled round trip from Austin to Cleveland on Southwest Airlines. The two legs of the flight up were fine and
I experienced no issues or concerns and rather enjoyed the trips. But for some reason, on the return flight home, I experienced moments of panic that were
similar to the very feelings I experienced some 20 years ago that started my whole fear of flying.
Ironically enough the flight from Nashville to Austin was totally smooth and had virtually no turbulence. What got me was once we got to cruise at 40,000 feet, well above a layer of clouds, I started getting the feelings of "oh crap, I'm suspended in air, 40,000 feet high and I can't get out of here and I'm not feeling safe!" I tried watching a movie on my laptop, tried doing a word search … but nothing seemed to work. For about 20 minutes I fought panic in my head and was worried I'd stand up and do something stupid. I had the "I'm losing it, I'm freaking out" feelings starting to really hit me. Of course, I didn't freak out and just sat in my seat doing those mental gymnastics. Once we started our descent into Austin at about 30 minutes out, I regained composure enough to re-focus on some activities besides looking out the window and feeling trapped.
Now here's the catch … I SHOULD know better. I've done SOAR Fast Track (or whatever it is called now!) and when I have applied the principles and techniques, it has worked great. But I did not do anything this time in terms of meeting the pilot or strengthening exercise or nothing. What's probably worse is that I have posted here that I did this very same thing this summer and experienced some anxiety that could have been abated by applying the proven SOAR techniques. Maybe it's the male macho thing … or arrogance thinking I am "over it." I want to be "over it" in the worst way … but I guess I need to accept that I'll have these feelings for the rest of my life and all I can do is use the stuff I've learned to overcome them and not allow them to steal the joy and wonder of flying.
Anyhow, I've exchanged emails with Capt. Tom about this and he gently reminded me that these techniques need to be repeated. I guess I'm sharing this with y'all in case anyone is in boat or close to it … don't do what I did! I'm going to continue flying but darn it, I need to go back to what is proven and worthwhile. I don't know why but accepting the fact that I'm not past these stupid fearful thoughts is tough. At least it is good to know that the tools and techniques from Fast Track are there and do work.
Ironically enough the flight from Nashville to Austin was totally smooth and had virtually no turbulence. What got me was once we got to cruise at 40,000 feet, well above a layer of clouds, I started getting the feelings of "oh crap, I'm suspended in air, 40,000 feet high and I can't get out of here and I'm not feeling safe!" I tried watching a movie on my laptop, tried doing a word search … but nothing seemed to work. For about 20 minutes I fought panic in my head and was worried I'd stand up and do something stupid. I had the "I'm losing it, I'm freaking out" feelings starting to really hit me. Of course, I didn't freak out and just sat in my seat doing those mental gymnastics. Once we started our descent into Austin at about 30 minutes out, I regained composure enough to re-focus on some activities besides looking out the window and feeling trapped.
Now here's the catch … I SHOULD know better. I've done SOAR Fast Track (or whatever it is called now!) and when I have applied the principles and techniques, it has worked great. But I did not do anything this time in terms of meeting the pilot or strengthening exercise or nothing. What's probably worse is that I have posted here that I did this very same thing this summer and experienced some anxiety that could have been abated by applying the proven SOAR techniques. Maybe it's the male macho thing … or arrogance thinking I am "over it." I want to be "over it" in the worst way … but I guess I need to accept that I'll have these feelings for the rest of my life and all I can do is use the stuff I've learned to overcome them and not allow them to steal the joy and wonder of flying.
Anyhow, I've exchanged emails with Capt. Tom about this and he gently reminded me that these techniques need to be repeated. I guess I'm sharing this with y'all in case anyone is in boat or close to it … don't do what I did! I'm going to continue flying but darn it, I need to go back to what is proven and worthwhile. I don't know why but accepting the fact that I'm not past these stupid fearful thoughts is tough. At least it is good to know that the tools and techniques from Fast Track are there and do work.
